So I wasn't drunk when I tried Google's Mail Goggles -- only a touch hung over -- but I wanted to see if the service could possibly save me from sending regrettable messages after a few too many glasses of Shiraz. The Goggles asks a series of math questions before allowing the message you've written to be sent. If you fail, you get a slap on the wrist -- "Water and bed for you. Or try again" -- if you pass, you're home free.
I installed the program by clicking on "Labs" in my Gmail account and selecting the Mail Goggles feature. I altered the settings to prevent me from sending any e-mail without first having to brave a gauntlet of math. Then I turned the difficulty level to its highest.
I majored in English. Math is not my forte. And in my early-morning barely-caffeinated haze, I was unable to answer the questions in enough time. Once I reached out for the desktop calculator but stopped myself -- no, I must do this right. Then, after an embarrassing failure, I turned the feature off and was free to electronically berate any ex I chose.
Therein lies the problem with the Goggles feature: It's mostly meant as a gag -- something fun you'll use three or four times before growing tired of it -- but for anybody who takes it halfway seriously, there are too many ways around it. Its biggest flaw is that the Goggles don't exist on mobile browsers. And when do we do the most drunk texting, e-mailing, and dialing? Coming home from the bar, that's when.
Google doesn't recommend getting loaded and unleashing your demons via e-mail, but to see this feature paired alongside useful Labs creations like the forgotten attachment detector and the "mark as read" button sets a curious example for the "Do No Evil" company. Could they be poking fun at people with alcohol problems? Can the Mail Goggles somehow be seen as sly commentary on Google users? I think this feature is nothing more than a gimmick -- albeit a mortifying one for anti-math types such as me -- but for some, it may raise questions about what Google means when they imply we have restraint problems.
