It's been a big week for fake rockers. 'Guitar Hero: On Tour,' the Nintendo DS version of Activison's popular Guitar Hero series of games, hit stores last weekend. Senior Writer Darren Gladstone and Game On blogger Matt Peckham have had their hands around a Guitar Grip all week long, and they're ready to rant about the latest flavor of the game.
Darren Gladstone: Between all the 'Rock Bands' and 'Guitar Heroes,' I've got more plastic axes propped up around my house than the Fisher Price tour bus. And now, I'm seeing 'Guitar Hero' on just about everything known to man: A mobile phone? A Nintendo DS? What's next? My watch?
Matt Peckham: I know what you mean. My hands involuntarily tappity-tap my steering column like a fretboard when I'm cruising a six-laner passing vehicles like giant four-wheeled notes. At least my hands are relaxed on the wheel. Fingering the Guitar Grip in 'Guitar Hero: On Tour' for the Nintendo DS (aka G.H.O.T. aka "Goat Hero") by comparison can feel like trying to clutch a handful of keys through an arm-cast.
DG: Matt, you're trying to tell me you're not ready to suffer for your art? Carpal tunnel is a small price to pay for (faux) rock 'n' roll.
MP: Maybe if they included an aspirin holder along with the faux-pick stylus, but OK, I'll suck it up. Besides, how else am I gonna be able to rock Stevie Ray Vaughn's "Pride and Joy" in the middle of a cornfield?
DG: Or on the bus! Nothing screams "rawk" like picking away on a DS during the morning commute. (Nobody has thrown money into my change cup... yet.)
MP: I wish they'd padded the song list somehow. It's easier, sure, but Guitar Hero 3 had nearly twice as many songs, including that finger-bleeding Dragon Force finale. I cleared all five G.H.O.T. venues in three hours!
DG: My friend, you rock hard, then, because I can barely get the audience on its feet. I can't get around the fretboard peripheral. Forget the carpal tunnel attacks for a sec. Here, in a nutshell, is my deal: once you remove the full plastic guitar from the equation, you see what all these rock-and-rhythm games for what they really are: Simon. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, it just doesn't sell the illusion like the home games do.
MP: Word up. I hear the developer was playing around with the idea of a mini-guitar that plugged into the DS somehow. I think they were calling it "Ukulele Hero." Thank your stars and garters someone put the kibosh on that. And Simon's not so bad if you're, you know, four or something.
DG: Now that would be hot. Rip out some ukulele licks! Seriously, though, Activision: much respect for trying this. If anything, I'm looking forward to hacker DJ's that'll try and turn this thing into an instrument like what DJ WiiJ did for the Nintendo Wiimote.
Too Much Fake Rock?
DG: Let's talk turkey. Do you think that a Guitar Hero game, no matter how inventive it is, jumps the shark when you put it on every platform known to man?
MP: I'd say it's definitely ramped over something when your fretboard's the size of a small book and the screen-strumming in the Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Knock Me Down" is liable to put your fingers in traction. But I'll admit it. I'm impressed they pulled it off at all. And with 74.5 million DS's in the wild, can you say cha-ching?
DG: Cha-ching... maybe. And yes, it's pretty impressive what's here. I'm just waiting to see how they'll miniaturize the drum kit for the Nintendo DS version of Rock Band.
MP: We should have some sort of online poll or something.
DG: Yeah, I wonder what our readers think.
So, what's your take on the Guitar Hero craze? Vote in our poll and post your two cents in the comments section below.
