Xbox 360's New GPU: Jasper the Friendly Not-A-Ghost
Let's talk what's annoying about Microsoft's four-layer Intel-rific pee-cee-in-a-box. But first, fuggedabout all that "red ring of death" rumpus. After all, if your 360 croaks, you get a new one. Free. In a week, or at most, two. I'm double down and swinging steady with fixer-upper number three and believe it or not, pretty unruffled about the time I went empty handed. Hey, the replacements cost me nada, and you can't be too grumpy with a company that stands by its product with over a billion and change in warranty extensions and repair guarantees.
No, my beef with my 360 is currently that it's a roaring, blowing racket, like a smog-coughing city bus powering by outside an open window facing the street and cut into the side of a curbside flat. I'm talking leaf-blower, vacuum cleaner, answer-the-phone-in-the-other-room noisy. It makes my PC with dual Nvidia 8800 GTX video cards and an air-overclocked Intel "Penryn" QX9650 sound like the triple 120mm fans are whispering sweet lullabies. Once a game's good and running, my 360's vrooming like a surly Hoover you'll only tick off more with a pillow for a muzzle. I've tried sequestering it behind closed doors, but then I'm more or less cooking wood (or the rest of my A/V kit) and fretting about fire hazards. If you have a 360 -- especially if it's sitting inside an entertainment center, which, you know, is supposed to be what an entertainment center's for -- I know you know what I'm talking about.
Since the 360 debuted in late 2005, it's already enjoyed a CPU die shrink to 65nm (codenamed "Falcon") and while most pundits agree that shrink probably saved its bacon, the GPU's still been smoking along at 90 sizzling nanometers. Anyone with a smidgen of PC know-how knows it's the GPU that routinely muscles past 80C during gameplay, as opposed to an overclocked Intel CPU which, rigged properly, rarely pushes 60.
The incredible shrinking Xbox 360! Give it two or three more years and it'll finally be as cool and quiet and maybe even as tiny as a Nintendo Wii.
Meet Jasper. He's a 65nm GPU, coming this August to a 360 near you. His name means "treasurer" in Persian, which -- let's be honest -- squares a little weirdly when you figure the codename for the new version of the 360 in which he'll ship is "Valhalla," i.e. Odin's crib, i.e. the battle hall "for those slain gloriously in battle." Slain gloriously in battle? I dunno about you, but considering the 360's engaged in the holy-holy of console fracas, is it really smart to be naming your baby-bet-the-farm-on after a mythic version of the afterlife? I'm just sayin'...
Back to Jasper. In conjunction with Falcon, the theory goes that we'll not only put the red-ring-o'-death to bed in totem, we'll finally get a version of the 360 that doesn't chug like an air compressor. Great to hear, if true.
The only thing I'll miss? Using the thing as a foot-warmer-cum-space-heater when it's wintertime and my wife's in better-living-through-thermostat-plunging mode.
Re-Play
Fearless or feckless? Have your say below or pelt me with emails here.
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you dont know loud until youve plugged a cooling unit into it. then after a month, unplug the cooling unit and you will realize it is really quieter than a PS3 fan wise, just the 56x DVD drive is not sound dampened like the PS3's Blu-ray drive.
It's true! My PS3's in hot pursuit, literally, of my Xbox 360 when they're either one in the entertainment center and purring about as politely as meth-fed tigers. :)
This is by far the lamest article i have read...why bash on a subject thats been already beat to death. And make sure you learn to have an article that flows, because what i just read was ridiculous. And to Yuffiek133...the Xbox doesn't have a 56x dvd drive...it has a 12x dvd drive...know your shit
You sir, have obviously never used a vacuum cleaner or a leaf blower. Take yourself away from your privileged existence, go operate one of the previous mentioned items and then see if the the 360 lives up to your analogy. Or at least find yourself a decibel meter and do a legitimate article on the 360's noise level compared to other products. You have way too much time on your hands if this is what you to rant about.
I have too much time on my hands if this is what I need to respond to.
Indeed you do M1A1. ;)
And I guess you and memphis missed the part where my tongue was pretty obviously bulging (in cheek).